Deep breath... and here we go.

I've been keeping my thoughts to myself for a while now, thinking things might change. Giving you the benefit of a doubt. Cause of course I want things to be different. I wanted it so bad. But I am saying right here, right now, that I am giving up. I don't care anymore. I don't care what you do, where you go, who you do it with... but just know that I won't be there to be a part of it. And neither will my kids. I refuse to submit them to what I had to grow up in. They deserve better than that. Better than you. So do Destiny and Brittany, but you don't care about them or anyone else. You never have, except for yourself. It's sad, my kids love you so much, and it hurts to have to take them out of your life because of choices you've made, but one day they'll understand. Hell, Riley already does. He comments on you being drunk all the time. He's 11 years old, he shouldn't see the things he sees when he's around you. I thought, really thought - that maybe seeing how you DIED and got brought back to life by EMTs that you would look at life a little differently. That maybe you might want to actually LIVE for a change instead of drinking yourself away. But no, I guess not. I was wrong. I let you come to the birthday party because I wanted to see for myself how you were. But after you called me the other night, drunk, asking for money.. that was it for me. I'm done with you unless you can get some help. Some real help. This includes holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. I refuse to have my kids around you. Or rather, to have you around my kids. I've brushed it off all these years, but I just can't do it anymore. You want to kill yourself by drinking, fine. Go for it. But I won't be around to see it and neither will your grandchildren. I love you, but I don't like you. I don't even know who you are anymore.