Life has just been busy lately. Last time I updated, I was waiting for my scan to see if the cancer was gone, and have my ‘end of treatment’ visits. I am thrilled to report that as of May 1st...
I am officially CANCER FREE!
Guys, I’m in remission!!!
It seems like all of this happened so fast, and at the same time, it feels like it lasted for years. I slowly got my energy back and started feeling like my old self, so we have been doing yard work. I even painted my daughter’s bedroom pink, something she’s been asking for since we bought the house. We spend a lot of time outdoors now. The kids are in the pool every chance they get, and I’ve even started working out again in the past week. I’ve basically had to start over with lighter weights, which stinks, but at least I am able to do it. I’ll get better and stronger.
My appetite has returned, but I’ve learned that since I could go weeks eating basically nothing while on treatments, that I could change my eating habits to healthier options. So far, I’ve done really well. We still have pizza occasionally, I mean we aren’t dead, just healthier. Ha! Shellfish still makes my tummy angry. I'll bloat up, have awful stomach pains, and diarrhea. Sushi just doesn’t do it for me anymore. That sucks. I love sushi. Or I guess now I should say loved. Past tense.
Even though the cancer is gone, the side effects from the treatment are definitely still here. I still have diarrhea a lot, which the doctor says is normal from the radiation damaging my bowels. She was very surprised that I don’t have any bladder and kidney issues since that’s normal side effects afterwards. ::Knock on wood::
: : : TMI ALERT : : :
I still have a lot of discharge. Sex is complicated. It hurts, but it’s getting better. The internal radiation causes a lot of scar tissue on your vaginal walls inside there, and as a result, they try to shrink up. Now you think this would be a good thing, and you’d be acting like Madonna and singing “Like A Virgin” but that’s not how it is. It’s painful. The doctors typically suggest using a dilator (google it, it’s basically a dildo with a different name) daily to stretch it back out to its normal size, but I was like nah I’m good without that. They said I could do things the natural way if I preferred and that’s what we’ve been trying, but the way he works, it’s hard. So as much as it sucks, I’m going to resort to the dilator to speed up the process of being normal again. I’d like to have pain free sex again. I have no issues with toys, don’t get me wrong. But using it for medical purposes isn’t as appealing as it is for play purposes. And using it daily is a chore when it’s summer and there’s kids in the house all the time. I can’t even go poop without someone trying to find me. This will have to be an after-bedtime routine, I guess. My white and red blood cell counts are still in the low range, but they’re in the upper-low range, so they’re closer to normal. That’s good news!
The bad news is that bills just keep coming. Ugh. In hindsight, I wish we would have waited until January to start the treatments and everything, because it would have cost us a lot less. Our insurance covers 70% and we pay the other 30%, with a max of $10,000 out of pocket. The problem with that, is that is per year. So since we started at the end of the year with all the tests and scans in Sept. and treatments in December, we had to pay that $2500 deductible upfront plus our 30% and then start allllll over again with another $2500 deductible and everything in January. So basically two $2500 deductibles, and two $10K our of pocket costs for us since everything started/happened at the end of the year.
We had two fundraisers done for us, thanks to the MBKFA (the kayak fishing club we are members of) and the SeaHut/Ernie Hall (who sold Boston Butts) for us. My Aunt Kim had also set up a GoFundMe account for us. All the money from those went to cover everything from last year, and the deductible for this year. But as of right now, we’re still around 8 grand mark in bills currently owed (BARF) and I still have to go every 3 months for checkups. But it is what it is. I’m alive and I’m healthy. And we have the pool, so it’s not like the kids will have a boring summer. I’ve also decided to take on some babysitting during the summer to help with finances, and come August, I’ll be keeping a newborn during the week. I’m still selling Younique, but most of my customers moved on to another consultant when I started treatments and stopped being an active seller, so business sucks there. But I’m still trying. That’s all I can do.
I’m definitely in menopause, thanks to radiation effects. I haven’t had a period since January, thankfully. I don’t really have mood swings anymore, but those hot flashes and night sweats are a total bitch! One second I’m fine, the next second it feels like I just opened the oven door and I’m wiping sweat off of my forehead and arm. It’s crazy. I also have weird creepy-crawly skin, where it feels like something is crawling on me, but it really isn’t. Dry skin too. Lotion is my new best friend. Sleep is a thing of the past. I was never a good sleeper anyway, but now it’s even harder between the above mentioned issues and just insomnia in general. I’ve taken Tylenol PM and Zzzquil and nothing helps. I can fall asleep, I just can’t stay asleep for more than an hour.
